I hope you had a nice weekend. How often are weekends restful and restorative for you? As a parent, I would say, “Not often.” No doubt you’ve seen the videos from parents on social media about the endless shuttling of children from one activity to the next. The struggle is real, as is the extensive planning and preparation. The mental load can sometimes feel heavy — at least for me.
In my household, both kids are booked and busy. One of my kids performed in her school’s production of Peter Pan. The shows on Friday and Saturday were beautiful to watch, and my kid loved every minute. She didn’t even remember that we’d somehow misplaced her costume and scrambled on Wednesday to replace it (thanks to the random mom selling a pirate costume on Facebook Marketplace!). Hopefully, I will stop wondering where that first costume I’d dutifully purchased well in advance ended up.
Meanwhile, the other kid is preparing for a big presentation in school this week. Glue guns, cut-up pieces of paper, and other art supplies litter the kitchen table. The script for her speech and the little audience participation game she’s preparing needed review and feedback. Was 4th grade so involved when we were children? At least Spring Break is coming. Oh, wait, we are taking a road trip with friends to get away for a few days, which means more planning and preparation.
This parenting stuff is endless.
Despite all of that activity, it didn’t feel quite as hectic as weekends filled with commitments usually do. I wish I could say that I utilized some tools from my mindfulness toolkit or found time to finally fit in some exercise (cuz endorphins make us happy), but I didn’t.
However, I realized that balancing parenting and self-care doesn’t have to mean carving out massive amounts of time for elaborate relaxation. It’s about making small choices that bring a little more peace into the chaos. Here’s why this weekend felt different:
I allowed myself to be in the moment. Instead of beating myself up over what didn’t go according to plan, I enjoyed watching my kid have the time of her life on stage. It’s easier said than done, but being present made all the difference.
I didn’t push myself to do everything I “should” accomplish. Time is finite. We may have the best of intentions about what we’re going to complete in a weekend, but when it doesn’t all get done, we can’t beat ourselves up over it. I did a whole lot, and that should be more than enough.
My husband and I did something together without the kids. We attended a brunch hosted by our university in the city. It wasn’t elaborate or overly planned, but we had a fabulous time chatting with other alums and strolling around Austin, watching the crowds for SXSW. Taking just two hours for ourselves was worth it.
It may not seem like a lot, but these three things were a revelation for me. They reminded me that balancing parenting and self-care isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about the small steps we take to go with the flow, cherish the moments we have, and enjoy where life takes us. Oh, and if I ever figure out what happened to that costume, I’ll be sure to update you!
